Quite a few people have asked me why I created a luxury retreat as opposed to something more low-key, crunchy and accessible.
Truthfully, the idea of a retreat always seemed to be a bit “extra”. When an opportunity to go to a blissful wellness retreat would arise I would think, “Isn’t meditation itself a retreat?” I did not see the true value as it related to spirituality, let alone spiritual study.
I have always understood, intellectually, that one cannot embody high spiritual vibrations without also nurturing the other “bodies” make up our existence. What allows for the penetration of this light is space. Having mental, emotional, physical and etheric “space” to process new information is essential.
But how much of this “space” is vital to integration?
It wasn’t until I worked with William Rand to become a Holy Fire Master Teacher, (3 months after the birth of my daughter) that I realized that I was approaching the whole process of allowing integration, embodiment and honoring the teachings all wrong.
The training took place in Redondo beach, California, about 1.5 hours drive from my home in Burbank. I was so glad to have connected with William. He was my first teacher’s teacher and a dear friend and inspiration. When I think of the service he has done and is doing, I feel golden lilies of liquid love are bursting from my core and heart. Yet he is so unassuming and gentle in his quiet joy. The strength he holds is incomparable and natural. He simplifies very complex stuff, and has so much knowledge and experience. But the one feeling that stuck with me after the training and certification was of abruptness, discombobulation and stress.
On the last day of our training at 6pm when it was time to drive home. I. Was. TIRED. (William frowns on caffeine) My phone was blowing up with texts, I was out of gas (yuck), hungry, in a hurry to get back to my daughter Ruby, and of course I was an emotional wreck from all of the stuck energy being dislodged. I still felt the presence of the Holy Fire, but when I arrived home, I had a baby that needed me, a messy home, and work the next day. I felt pestered and guilty and sad that I didn’t have the space I needed. Here I had paid all of this money and put so much effort into connecting to a new energy and I wasn’t even able to bask in it, integrate it- enjoy it!
Want to know what made me even more upset? It was no one’s fault but mine. I hadn’t put “me” first. By pushing forward with my agenda, and by virtue of the training being a two-day intensive with no concern for integration, I was selling myself, and the energy of the Holy Fire, short.
When one connects with the holy fire, it is similar to the violet flame in that there is a pretty gnarly dislodging of old programming, fear, addictions, attachments. You are so vulnerable and those moments can be ugly and hard to breathe through. And they MATTER. They are not “Whatever. I’ll deal with the detox later” moments. They are your opportunity to learn to be on service to other by first making space for yourself. In taking notice, in observing, and in allowing, we are learning, embodying. We are path-finding and we are becoming healers.
Now I’m sure that you can “handle” reiki certification the way you handle everything. Like a boss. You don’t need me to tell you whats important. A girls gotta keep her balls in her air! But can I ask you this questions, “Can you have better?” Can you drop the balls and receive a loving hug from source, and mother earth? And can you hug back and deepen the relationship knowing that all of your responsibilities, and you, are SAFE. If the answer is “No, not right now”, that is understandable. But allow the “Yes” to show itself to you. Leave open that possibility. Say these words of power yourself:
IT IS MY DESIRE TO SIT CALMLY
IN THE TEMPLE OF MY OWN BODY
BETWEEN THE TWO GREAT PILLARS
OF POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE VIBRATION
BALANCING THEM TO THE POINT
WHERE ALL WHOME I COME INTO CONTACT
ENCOUNTER THE PEACE, POISE, POWER, WISDOM, LOVE AND HARMONY OF GOD
YOU are meant to feel, beautiful, safe, loved, thankful, joyful, sexy, wealthy, protected, always softly excited, with the PEACE POISE POWER WILL AND HARMONY OF GOD.
It’s SO important to prioritize, and even romanticize the decisions that will set the stage for the rest of your life. As a society we are moving out of ritual in favor or efficiency. We are sacrificing a life to remember. When you make room for the magic, mystery and sensuous enjoyment, you are praising Source! You are in appreciation and affirmation that you are God and that you Deserve more! It is the law.
The Holy Fire comes in like a true friend, and the second you’re ready to “meet”, you will feel the excitement in your soul and the new possibilities and life potentials emerge. The Holy Fire is a giver of blessings. It has always known you, has mountains of affections for you, and deserves your undivided attention while you open your gifts. On this retreat you will receive its presence to the fullest extent and every aspect of your life will be better for it.